MRS PEARCE: There's a young woman who wants to see you, sir.

HIGGINS: A young woman? What does she want?

MRS PEARCE: She's quite a common girl, sir. Very common indeed. I should've sent her away, I thought perhaps you wanted her to talk into your machine.

HIGGINS: Has she an interesting accent?

MRS PEARCE: Simply ghastly Mr Higgins.

HIGGINS: Good. Let's have her in. Show her in, Mrs. Pearce.

MRS PEARCE: Very well, sir.

HIGGINS: This is rather a bit of luck. I'll show you how I make records. We'll set her talking, then I'll take her down first in Bell's Visible Speech...then in broad Romic. And then we'll get her on the phonograph...so that you can turn her on whenever you want with the written transcript before you.

MRS PEARCE: This is the young woman, sir.

ELIZA DOOLITTLE: Good mornin', my good men. Might I 'ave the pleasure of a word with you?

HIGGINS: Oh, no, no, no. This is the girl I jotted down last night. She's no use. I got all the records I want of the Lisson Grove lingo. I am not going to waste another cylinder on that. Be off with you. I don't want you.

ELIZA DOLITTLE: Don't be so saucy. You ain't 'eard what I come for yet. Did you tell 'im I come in a taxi?

MRS PEARCE: Nonsense girl. Why do you think a gentleman like Mr. Higgins cares what you came in?

ELIZA DOOLITTLE: Oh, we are proud. He ain't above givin' lessons, not 'im. I 'eard 'im say so. Well, I ain't come here to ask for any compliment and if my money's not good enough, I can go elsewhere.

HIGGINS: Good enough for what?

ELIZA DOOLITTLE: Good enough for you. Now you know, don't ya? I'm come to 'ave lessons. I am and to pay for 'em, too, make no mistake.

HIGGINS: Well! And what do you expect me to say?

ELIZA DOOLITTLE: Well, if you was a gentleman, you might ask me to sit down, I think. Don't I tell you I'm bringin' you business?

HIGGINS: Pickering, should we ask this baggage to sit down or shall we just throw her out of the window?

ELIZA DOOLITTLE: I won't be called a baggage. Not when I've offered to pay like any lady.

PICKERING: What do you want, my girl?

ELIZA DOOLITTLE: I want to be a lady in a flow'r shop'stead of sellin' at the corner of Tottenham Court Road. But they won't take me unless I can talk more genteel. He said 'e could teach me. Well, 'ere I am ready to pay 'im. I’m not asking any favour and he treats me as if I was dirt. I know what lessons cost as well as you do and I'm ready to pay.

HIGGINS: How much?

ELIZA DOOLITTLE: Now you're talkin’. I thought you'd come off it when you saw a chance of getting back a bit of what you chucked at me last night. You'd had a drop in, 'adn't you?

HIGGINS: Sit down.

ELIZA DOOLITTLE: If you're goin' t' make a compliment of it—

HIGGINS: Sit down!

MRS PEARCE: Sit down, girl. Do as you’re told.

PICKERING: What’s your name?

ELIZA DOOLITTLE: Eliza Doolittle.

PICKERING: Won't you sit down, Miss Doolittle?

ELIZA DOOLITTLE: I don’t mind if I do.

HIGGINS: Now, how much do you propose to pay me for these lessons?

ELIZA DOOLITTLE: Oh, I know what’s right. A lady friend of mine gets French lessons for eighteen pence an hour from a real French gentleman. Well, you wouldn't have the face to ask me the same for teachin' me my own language as you would for French. So I won't give more than a shillin'.Take it or leave it.

HIGGINS: You know, Pickering, if you think of a shilling not as a simple shilling, but as a percentage of this girl's income it works out as fully equivalent of sixty or seventy pounds from a millionaire. By George, it’s enormous! It’s the biggest offer I’ve ever had.

ELIZA DOOLITTLE: Sixty pounds? What are you talkin' about? Where would I get sixty pounds? I never offered you sixty pounds! HIGGINS: Hold your tongue!

ELIZA DOOLITTLE: But I ain't got sixty pounds!

MRS PEARCE: Don't cry, silly girl. Sit down. Nobody's going to touch your money.

HIGGINS: Somebody'll touch you with a broomstick if you don't stop snivelling. Sit down.

ELIZA DOOLITTLE: Anybody'd think you was my father! HIGGINS: If I decide to teach you, I'll be worse than two fathers to you. Here.

ELIZA DOOLITTLE: What’s this for?

HIGGINS: To wipe your eyes. To wipe any part of your face that feels moist. And remember, that's your handkerchief and that's your sleeve. Don't confuse the one with the other, if you want to become a lady in a shop.

MRS PEARCE: It's no use to talk to her like that. She doesn't understand you.

ELIZA DOOLITTLE: Here, give the 'andkerchief to me. He give it to me, not to you!

PICKERING: Higgins, I'm interested. What about your boast you that could pass her off as a duchess at the Embassy Ball? I'll say you're the greatest teacher alive if you make that good. I'll bet you all the expenses of the experiment if you can do it. I'll even pay for the lessons.

ELIZA DOOLITTLE: You're real good. Thank ye, Capt'n.

HIGGINS: It's almost irresistible. She's so deliciously low. So horribly dirty.

ELIZA DOOLITTLE: I ain't dirty! I washed my face an' hands before I come, I did.

HIGGINS: I'll take it. I'll make a duchess of this draggle-tailed guttersnipe. We'll start today. Now, this moment. Take her awayMrs Pearce and clean her. Sandpaper, if it won't come off any other way. Is there a good fire in the kitchen? Take her clothes off and burn them and order some new ones. Just wrap her in brown paper till they come.